Two of the most important decisions you will make in your life are what you will do for a living, and who you will share your life with. Generally speaking, most of us are meant to be married. Genesis 2 (ESV) records the “Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for[e] him.””, Let us examine this general statement in such terms. (e. Genesis 2:18 Or corresponding to; also verse 20)
If you’ll recall, earlier God had provided what was needed for mankind to survive. He gave him a job to do, caring for the garden. Now God allows man to further reflect Him by expanding Adam’s responsibilities.
“19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam[g] there was not found a helper fit for him.”
(g. Genesis 2:20 Or the man)
Notice this structure:
- Man learns to provide for himself.
- He grows in responsibility, now caring for others, and defining his relationships with them. Those relationships reflect the duty God has given him.
- Man realizes everything has a mate except him. Despite the fulfilment of making a living and honoring God with his creativity, he’s lacking something. God created him with a need for a companion. Adam, and thereby we, were created with a need for God, and a need for each other, particularly a mate. Notice the scripture says “helper”.
A necessary side-step: First off, women were made to correspond to men…so none of this popular homosexuality stuff. We’ll deal with that issue at a separate time, but suffice it to say it’s an unresolved issue that needs to be dealt with in the lives of many hurting people. Now, back to this…
No other person will further define your life than your mate. That person needs to be a helper to you in living out the calling God has placed upon you. Eve was made from Adam, signifying the incompleteness we men have without our wife. What follows is a natural order by God’s practical design.
“21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made[h] into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
(h. Genesis 2:22 Hebrew built)
Men, get your act together. When we have a wife, we aren’t to continue to depend upon our parents, but instead learn to define and live our lives relatively self-sufficiently, depending on what God has provided, and in unity with our wife. She needs to know to what length you would go for the two of you. She needs to know she’s worth it.
Women, don’t sabotage a good man who looks out for your well-being and follows the Lord. He needs your encouragement. He needs to know you believe he has what it takes. If God has placed a call upon your family, don’t fight the Lord and your husband both. You’ll both be miserable.
This is a joint mission. Consider each other. Husband and wife will more fully enjoy the benefits of a happy marriage when the husband leads in fulfilling God’s calling upon your family, and the wife is a helper in the cause. It’s a mutualistic symbiotic relationship. Despite the lies of the enemy to the contrary, there is no shame in this type of relationship. Inequality of the sexes (in either direction) be damned! This is a firm foundation set by God to build your lives together. Go take the world together!